I’ve noticed recently how fixated people are on the negative things in life. “I wish I had your confidence”, or “I wish I was skinnier”, or “my body is falling a part, it will never get better”. I’ve noticed this more since moving away for some reason (goodbye comfort bubble), I just don’t understand how people have become so negative in their approach on life. It’s almost as if people seek out the negatives to have something to talk about. Like the news, every time I watch the 6 o’clock news, its filled with about 90% bad stuff and 10 % good stuff, you know what I’m talking about, that 10 second, feel-good puppy love story at the end of an hour long bulletin of how the world is falling a part. But when did this happen? A battery has positive charge and negative charge and functions in perfect balance. So when did the negatives start to outweigh the positives?
It’s almost like a sickness in a way, and I’m sure we’ve all been there before. When one thing in our life isn’t working out, we revolve around it. It’s as if life can’t go on until we have bored every single one of our friends with this one tiny little negative thing going on in our lives (I can feel the eye rolls from my friends already). But why do we do that? Why can’t we just let the little negatives go? And if not let them go, use them to learn from and turn those negatives into a positive? It’s almost as if we look for the negatives in our lives, or in others lives, and dredge them to the surface so we can critique and analyse them (thoroughly). They become the sole focus of our existence. I’m guilty of this for sure, nothing I like more than a good story, but do I deliberately only tell the negative stories because I think they’re funnier? Do they make me more interesting? What about the positives in my life? Do they get a go?
It’s easier for me to be objective in this instance, because I see it everyday at my job as an Osteopath. I see people come in already with a preconceived idea about their bodies, throwing out phrases like “I know my hips out” or “my back is just screwed”. Before I’ve even said a word, people focus on their pain as being a complete negative (which it is, pain sucks), as opposed to the positive they’re seeking, which is to ultimately get better. What I’ve found my job being is more of a motivator, I have found myself encouraging people that their is a positive that can be achieved, but it’s going to take time and effort. It’s becoming exhausting for me (six weeks in). Even when things improve, people can still find something negative, something to talk about. So maybe it’s how we’re designed to deal with things? Positives are easy to deal with, they require little to no thought, but negatives are puzzling and confusing, we need help from others to cope with them.
I like to think I’m not a negative person (some of my friends may occasionally disagree), I like to think that although there are negatives in my life, that there are many more positives I have to be grateful for. Like my amazing family who I surprised on the weekend, and my beautiful friends who spoil me with love (and cheese). I’m feeling really grateful for the life I am lucky enough to live, and in the place I get to live it in. My new apartment is amazing, I feel like I’m really starting to land on my feet a new city. Although we need help coping with the negatives in our lives, don’t forget to be grateful for the many positives. Life’s all about balance, positives and negatives need each other, like a battery.