Expectation break down

Have you ever felt so frustrated with life you just want to flip your lid, scream into a pillow or maybe cry out loud, “why me!?” I have. Recently actually. I had this beautiful rainbow coloured idea that moving away would open up all these windows of opportunity, that I would walk into a great new lifestyle with a killer new job and just go ahead and live the dream. But sometimes dreams can be nightmares. Pinnochio taught us “a dream is a wish your heart makes”, but coming from the boy who lies, his credibility is perhaps a little flawed. I started thinking about dreams and ambition, both things that can drive us and push us to reach our goals, but maybe having these big dreams and expectations are what bring us down, when the road gets tough, we settle for second best. So I’m curious, are our high expectations holding us back?

So the other day, my first day of work, I sat at home waiting for the call that I had a patient booked in with me, I watched as anxiously, hoping that someone would call and ask for my name. They didn’t. I felt depleted. Like I’d failed, let people down, let myself down. I was ready to implode, I could feel the tears of self inflicted pressure welling up in my eyes. But then I thought, what the hell am I doing? I’m living in a beach paradise, it’s my first day at a new job, why am I so down in the dumps? I had the expectation that things would just happen for me, but that was naive. Things don’t just happen, you have to make them happen. So I jumped on my push bike and rode down to the beach and appreciated how fortunate I was for the great things I had in my life. A friend of mine said to me once “the best way to predict the future is to create it”, so thats what I did. I put my frustration aside, and decided to channel my energy in a more positive way. I decided if I was going to make this new life work, I would have to start putting my self out there.

So the next day brought on a whole new perspective. Again I went into work and sat patiently waiting for someone to call, I watched as my only two booking for the day cancelled due to illness (better they stay away anyway, eww germs). But on this day, instead of letting my frustration get the better of me and turn me into a sour lemon, I channelled it. I used this frustration to be my new driver, I wanted to create my future, so I went out and introduced my self to other practitioners in the area, I took a one on one pilates class, I sent out at least 20 emails to businesses and clubs in the area, I wanted to use this struggle as a lesson, I wanted it to make me stronger. Following this, things started to change, things really started to happen. Personally, I felt a lot more settled, like I had regained control, because my future was mine to make and I was determined to make this work. The Universe has a funny way of repaying those who try, like some sort of karmic retribution. The more positivity you put out there, the more you are likely to receive.

Things don’t just happen, just like windows don’t just open on their own, you have to give them a little wiggle (or in some cases jam them open with a crow bar). But I guess the point is you get out what you put in. I couldn’t just sit around on my spinning office chair with my dreams and expectations, waiting for things to happen around me. It takes effort, and a pro-active mind set. Working hard for what you want teaches you how to be grateful for what you do have. Neuropsychiatrists will tell you, “you can’t be anxious and grateful at the same time”. It is important even in times of uncertainty and adversity, to be grateful for the life you are lucky to live, appreciate how wonderful the world is and how every bump in the road is a lesson to be learnt. I love the dreamers, the people who shoot for the stars, the people who say why not instead of you can’t. But to turn the wishes your heart make into reality, you can’t just expect to  fast forward and jump to the happy ending. You have to ride out the journey, embracing every twist and turn, using the adversity you overcome to guide you and make you stronger. If you willing to work for what you want, you’ll get there in time, the Universe will give you a window, just remember to pack your crow bar.

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